I am tired. I shoveled for four hours yesterday in the morning, and two hours the night before. I am a fool, because at the hardware store two weeks ago, my wife told me to buy a snow blower. I said for what. If it snows, I'll hire one of those little hoppers who runs around with a shovel. Well, unfortunately for me, the hoppers didn't make it up the mountain I live on. So at 7am, I went outside yesterday and started the never ending driveway (for those of you who have been to my house, you know how it is). At 8:00 I was starving and tired. The last time I had eaten was the night before, right before I went out to shovel for two hours. As a side note, my daughters came outside with me Sunday night, and loved that the snow was sparkling, "Look Buthayna, it's SPAAARRKALING", said the younger one (3) to the older one (6). Then they both lay in the middle of the driveway doing snow angels. This, needless to say annoyed me, because I was trying to shovel snow, at 6pm on a Sunday night, in the middle of the worst blizzard since 1996, and they loved how it sparkled. So I shoveled away their damn snow angels, much to their chagrin. But they were unrelenting. Snow angel after cursed snow angel. And that was the night before.
Back to the matter at hand. So at 8:00am yesterday I was tired and hungry. I knew there were bagels in the house, and I really wanted a cup of coffee. So to get into the house from the garage you enter a mud room. This room is about 3 feet by 3 feet. There are 4 doors in this little space (5 if you count the one for the garage). Immediately to your right is a door to the laundry room. Right next to the laundry room door is a small closet. Then directly in front of you, coming in from the garage is the door to the kitchen. And directly to your left is a door to a pantry. So I open the door to the kitchen, and no sign of life. Wife and kids not downstairs yet. Crap. I go back outside, and continue my death march. After what felt like an hour (it was 15 min), I checked again to see if my wonderful wife had come downstairs. Nothing. Now, i could have take off my boots and tried to shake off the snow from my legs and make myself coffee and toast a bagel and fry an egg, but I knew if those boots came off, they were not going back on. So back outside I went. After another 15 min I checked again. What the hell! No woman, no children. Why the hell did I get married. I want coffee and a bagel egg and cheese! Is this so freaking difficult! I am on my death march out here, the least that can happen is I die with a full stomach.
So now I think about going in the house without taking off my boots. Quickly I think better of it. But now I start to panic. I see on the counter, directly to my right a can of Diet Pepsi. That is caffeinated. So I grab it. Then I remember I have a pantry, and pantry's have food! Now we're cooking! So I go into the pantry, but find nothing but pickles, tuna, olives, and chips. So I grab a bag of cheese doodles, and my can of soda, and go outside. I munch down the cheese doodles, and finish the soda in 3 chugs, and get back to work. But now I feel like crap. I am disgusted with myself; soda at 8:30 with a bag of cheese doodles sucks.
But I am shoveling away, and then I hear the voice of an angel "Ibrahim, Ibrahim, Ibrahim". Only one person says that name that way. I quickly make my way to the garage and see my wife. "Would you like anything to eat?" She asks. You don't even know I tell her.
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